POWER IN RELATIONSHIPS


Oscar Wilde (who knew a thing or two when he was not just being smug) said that everything is about sex. Except sex. Sex is about power. Deep. Especially for a blog post about prostitutes and escort agencies! But the more you think about it, the more true that statement appears. And I am not just talking about a BDSM thing, where the power exchange is explicit. The submissive apparently gives up power totally to the dominant, whether that be their lover or a professional Dom or Domme. I am talking about sex as a nuclear device buried in the heart of every sexual relationship and interaction.

In a standard vanilla relationship, despite feminism and the perfectly correct freedoms and equality that women now enjoy more and more (How am I going to disagree with that? I am a woman who runs successful businesses and employs lots of men.) the man is expected to do the running. It is still unusual for a woman to approach a guy and try to pull him. And even in these enlightened days, the guy still pays for most things to prove his desire and commitment. In exchange, he hopes, sex will be the result. So the woman has the power of her sex and exchanges it for money It is implicit, but it is absolutely there. Men pay to play whether they are with a girl friend or are buying a girl friend experience in Barcelona. And if women are not getting the right amount of the correct currency – treats, clothes, handbags, attention, affection, whatever, she can withhold what the man wants. And get what she wants somewhere else.

But with a professional high class escort girl the dynamic is different. Yes, she gets paid for sex. But the transaction is transparent. The man tells her what he wants, she - via an escort agency if they are both smart - tells him what it will cost and for how long. They meet, they both get what they want. They part, and everyone is happy. The power balance is equal and absolutely fair. As long as the client pays, he gets what he wants. As long as she provides the service agreed, the escort girl gets what she wants. What could be more fair, non exploitative and feminist than that?

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